Life's lesson

It has not been easy to write. But when the ideas start to flow in, it would be endless till you don't which one to write first. This time I decided to write something about what I experienced recently. I thought it would be something easy but it was not. I remember when I was a child, I had fear of standing at the stage and giving a speech. It was not about delivering the speech it self. But it was more to fighting the fear within.  To face the crowd, looking at the faces staring at you, it was a nightmare. It happened to me, it was still vivid in my mind and made it worst, I forgot my lines! But when you were forced to do it, you had to do it anyways. Back then, there were no one to motivate you, to understand what you were going thru or even your feelings. That was long, long time ago. 

And it felt like the history was repeating itself when my little one still in preschool was selected for the finals in story telling. It came as a surprise to me though. But it was partially my responsibility to ensure she remembers her story well. I didn't know why I got so worried. Rather than being happy, I was in stress! You can't explain to a six year old how important it was! All she knew was to have fun. I had tough time coaxing her to memorize her story. I hate to do it but I had to promise her to get favorite toy if she listens to me. I kept telling her she had to do her best. But deep in my heart, I wished she 
would really do well. I had to admit I pushed her quite hard. The thought of her forgetting her story keep coming to my mind. I had the same fear which I had long time ago. I kept reminding myself I should just let go my fear and let my little one be herself. The time finally came. I thought I wouldn't be able to compose myself to see her performing on stage (but I had to save my pride too! ). Her turn came and my heart started to beat so fast.  What's happening ?! I never felt like this before. It made me thought how my parents would have felt for me when I was young. It made me to think this moment was special and there are more things to face in future in parenthood. My little one as I expected did forget one of her lines but she managed to pull thru. This is why we should always think positive and stay away from negative thoughts. Let the kids be themselves, not to push them too hard, allow some space for them to grow naturally. This would be the best for them!

Duality

Everything in this world comes in a pair. Sadness, happiness. Healthy, sickness. Poor, rich. Positive, negative. Isn't it up to us to choose which word describes us ? Often we are intimidated with situations around us and tempted to choose to live by values which are not useful to us. We feel we don't have a choice but to go by the flow. We get influenced by people. We speak more about negativity. It seems to be more interesting though. Why is it so hard for us to change ourselves? It is ever harder to motivate ourselves. When we are surrounded by negativity, we instill fear and doubts. Unable to speak for ourselves, we shudder in limitations. To keep ourselves sane is a challenge sometimes. Unless we are really determined we want to win something. To choose over negativity requires a strong will. To train our mind to sway away from thinking unnecessary things remains a challenge. Most importantly, to remain calm and positive at all times seriously not an easy thing to do. Keep asking ourselves, you have 2 choices today. Do you want to be cheerful, bright and positive ? Or do you want to sulk over your past, being unappreciative of what you have right now and influence others too? The choice is ours to shape our lives.

Every Beginning Has An Ending

Every beginning has an ending, as people said. How true it can be, only to be witnessed when it happens. There were lots of happenings for past few weeks. First, there was an expected death in our family. That is how the title of this post starts. Endless sufferings and tortures has finally came to an end when the God decides this is the time for you to leave the world. He proves that He is the controller in this world. He who creates the life is the one who decides what should happen in your life, including the moment of parting from this world. This death incident in our family brings to our consciousness how we should treat our own life. Basically, it was excruciating moments of more than 5 months where I witnessed a person who was dear to us suffered right in front of our eyes. How fast can a life change? Just in a nick of time, the answer is.There was nothing much we could do. All we offered was the best we could do. We wished we could have done more, but we were helpless. We tried our best. We saw the sufferings. We wished the time arrived sooner. But it didn't. The God still had some of His dues to be paid. He took her away when His dues were settled eventually. All left were lifeless body and to those are who alive - lesson to be learnt. This person was someone close to my heart, even though we didn't spend much time together, but in a way I knew I was special to her. During the last 5 months was a challenging and trying period for our family. There were many questions asked and some we ourselves could not find the answers. We came to know we had to go through this as part of learning what life is all about. No one knows what is in store for you till the time comes. Are you being arrogant and selfish when you are on top of the world? The world is round they said. You could be at the peak of your life, enjoying your fortunes. Think twice. You will fall one day as nothing is permanent. Young will grow old as time pass by. Do you know how your life will end? Do you know who will be at your side when this happens? No one knows. Now at this moment , all you can do is to cherish what you have and do good to people. You reap what you sow. We should remember these words all the time.

A Reminder To Self

Have you ever woken up one day and wondered what have you done for your self? What purpose do you bring? How are you going to make yourself worth? Each time I wake up, I wondered how the day will be for me. How will I solve my problems? What are the challenges lined up for me? All the time, we go through the same routine. How different have you thought today? Do you ever think you should make a difference everyday? Should we be reminded rather than focusing on challenges and fulfilling your daily needs you must also think of your values? Why are we so selfish sometimes? To us we must concentrate in our problems. Make it go away. We need more money to survive. We need to earn our living. We need that and this.

Little we realized we are belittling ourselves. We are confining ourselves into a small world where only two things exist - ourselves and problems. Solving our issues made us to think creatively. This is how your brains are wired anyways. But we need to teach our brain to learn and accept that not just problems exist. There are more than that. There is the Creator. He who gives and takes it away. The power of Divine whom we should lean on. He who throws the challenges on us and entrusts faith at the same time. He who complicates matters but shows you the way to entangle it. Our goal should be to instill an acceptance. An acceptance where you will open your heart and say 'I shall be positive and train my mind to think good all the times'.

How important it is for us to maintain same level of positiveness ? Believe that you can. Nothing is impossible, everything is possible. Say the mantra you should do good everyday. Let it engulf you with good feelings reflecting you are making a difference directly or indirectly. It is a reminder for myself too!

Oh where, oh where ?

The flight has gone missing for more than 2 weeks now and no where to be seen. Least we thought it would happen to a small country like Malaysia. How are we suppose to know such an unfortunate thing would befall ? The life of entire passengers are shrouded with question marks. How could the plane vanish? Would we find any survivors? When would we find the craft ? What happened to the airplane? These questions runs in everyone's mind. And it is still running. The issue does not belong to one nation. It has grabbed the entire world wide's attention.
The anguish and heartbreaks of all the family and friends of the passengers is indescribable. The wait seems to be too long. Every moment seems like an eternity even for us who are not directly related. We can just hope for the best. Prayers are with all of them, wishing we can soon find a conclusion and an ending for the misery. Hope the God will show us the way and lead us the right path.

Hoping for miracles

When you are doing good and building up wealth , share it with others they say ! You are supposed to share it with less fortunates as this is where your lifetime happiness will grow. God didn't give you wealth for you to boast. Or He didn't give you wealth to compare yourself with others. Therefore, understand this truth and share your fortunes with the rest whenever you can. Making others happy should be your ultimatum. You are not going to bring your wealth to your grave. As such, making sure you are doing your bit to help and support others creates life time impact, provides inner sense of achievement and peace within yourself.
Talking on the other point, at this time, the fate of MH370 is still unknown. We hope for miracles to happen. On this unfortunate incident, we are praying for the safety of all on board wherever you are. Hope the God will show His mercy on us and end this painful wait soon. The sorrows of all of the next-to-kins are deeply felt by all of us. Their grieve and miserable waits are painful for us. God, let the plane be known !

The beautiful 5 years

Yesterday, my daughter completed 5 years of her life and started a brand new 6th year. It was her 6th birthday. An age which we all would love to go thru again , if given the chance. An age of innocence, running around happily, eagerly expecting presents from adults. It seems this year this bubbly girl knows how to ask 'Where is my present?' compared to the previous years where she was sort of less 'questionable'. 
She was all smiles when she was able to choose her own birthday dress (a privilege which was given to her intentionally). I guess this little girl has matured a little bit where she chose a purple color dress  compared to the traditional pink which was her all time favorite. Kids do change all the time. I think nothing is priceless to see this back then little bundle of joy has grown up so much over the time. Not sure if I should say time flies fast or we are getting older. Maybe both. I remember vividly on this very day 5 years ago, being a new mother and having mixed feelings and reactions. The emotions were just simply cannot be described. 
Fortunately, I was able to come out of the temporary trauma and experience what other mothers would do. It was a chance which I truly feel blessed. Even though there are lots of ups and downs. I think I have grown over the years. Life has taught me many things. This little angel of mine walked thru with me, showering with many experiences which I never imagined. I see my transformation of myself, learning thru difficulties and still learning lessons of life. I'm able to see life in different ways and how it should be seen. There are lots more to see and change. For good for sure. Hope more blessings to come in future so I'm able to carry out duties as a person.