Book Review #2 : How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

Here comes the second book review for the year - How to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk. Another publication of Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish, experts in parenting. There are many interesting points to note in this book. There are plenty of interesting cartoons, making it more enjoyable to read this book. 

There are subjects which are debatable. How often should you praise your child? Is praising good for your child? You can find the answer in this book. It opens up your mind to explore how the kids think. You will learn how to see from your kids' point of view. It is good as modern parenting is concerned, parents need to master important skills in order to handle their kids.

Few notable points :

You got to help your kids with their feelings. Let them know you acknowledge their feelings when they feel grumpy, sad, angry etc. Assist them to understand their own emotions.

A direct and straight to the points statements may not work. Be descriptive and try to explain the situation or problems. When are there are problems, explain consequences of it. Explain how you feel may help too.

Here comes the interesting one. Alternatives to punishments. This may mean you need to give choices. Or just sternly express your disapproval and state your expectations. Or take it to another level - problem solving. This may reduce lots of stress parents need to endure.

To encourage kids to open up, sometimes you should talk less. Maybe just lend an attentive ear. Always allow them to make their choices. It would help to be more confident of themselves. Also asking open ended questions might help rather than pointing to answer straight away. 

Praising might help. But we need to cautious not to overuse it. Be descriptive. For eg. "I see you have done 2 pages of your homework without my help" rather than "You are brilliant, you are so good!"

Model the behavior you would want to see. Offer or allow kids to do few house chores when they are ready. It makes them feel important and worthwhile. 

~ End of review ~