Reflection

There is such thing as good time, isn't. Each moment is a good time. This is what life is trying to teach you. But you would not understand that easily, don't you? You are so caught up with your little or big daily stuffs you do each time and you hardly have time to reflect upon yourself. Those days of past 3 years, how would you describe it ? No words. Battles of inner demons. Never ending arguments with self. Pointing finger back to you. Questions were raised, how worthy are you? Then you get into the endless of games of blames. But, it is actually no one to be blamed at the end.

So, even if it was running away from reality, it was a decision which was never regretted even a bit. Going back into the world of education was the best feelings in the whole wide world. Walking past the rows of racks full of books one after another, surrounded by quietness and breath of knowledge is an indescribable feelings. It is like craving for more and more but there is no time. You long for it but you are forbidden to have it. Enjoyed every moment of this. Surrounded by circle of unknowns who later became known, exchange of opinions and advices made you think there is definitely a bigger world out there.

The period of 1.5 years was indeed some kind of nectar. It will be missed forever. As tough you were on express train. You gotta catch it before you miss it. It was a sweet escapade. Brought relief to cluttered mind when you channel the darkness inside you to something worthy. It made you feel worthy too. Probably that was the expectation. To get the answer to the riddle which was tormenting you for years. The puzzle piece which was missing. Even though you know this was not what you are looking for. The end result is face the monsters residing in you. The monsters who would lay out straight the truths inspite knowing all the pains that would be caused.

All the hard work paid off. It was truly an experience which cannot be bought over with money. Memories that would last forever. Trips after work, sacrifices during weekends, these were too expensive not to be mentioned. The outcome is an opened mind to think holistically, ability to face your fears and an option to choose whether you want to spend your time wisely or waste time unnecessarily. Assignments, deadlines, presentations, exams...just amazing, stretches your ability, making the impossible to be possible. At the end, indeed, it was all possible. Make many friends along the way. Few gotten close. Just one thing lacking was time. It flew away too fast. I wasn't allowed to step back and ponder. But it was still fresh in mind. It would stay as good memories forever thats for sure. Maybe I had my time in this phase.

What came next as thunder and lightning pushed you aside. Ain't sure how to describe it. As tough you knew it was coming but you denied it. Maybe you were a coward not to face it. But I decided I had enough. Its ripped apart bit of pieces of my heart. Few incidents followed thru. Seemed like I was in fantasy land. A bubble blowed up in dream. Its just that this time was real. They said life teaches you many lessons. Indeed, it is. Humility, gratefulness, back to basics. Nothing else matters. Life is good to you.